I thought I’d be able to do more during my maternity leave. Turns out, the sleep deprivation in the beginning, and then mothering as an occupation, made that impossible. Beyond writing and reporting, I had grand plans to watch several television series — finally finish the Sopranos, maybe give The Good Wife a try. I now know I will never do The West Wing.
That’s fine. What I did have time for was exercising (during the morning nap while my husband worked in our at-home office), deleting emails (Inbox Zero forever!) and Instagram, something I used to be able to compartmentalize but has recently seeped into what feels like every hour of my day, if only for a few moments.
Instagram made me feel shitty sometimes, but it wasn't all bad. Yes, I got served up a ton of advertisements. Some of those experiences, however, were positive. They introduced me to things I actually ended up liking.
I had little desire to buy anything for myself in those first few months. Instead, I became obsessed with baby clothes, part of the greater motherhood industrial complex.
What I found was a very large market — $63 billion, according to one of those questionable research firms so who knows, really — with all the little nuances and quirks of grown-up Fashion. I began inventing rivalries between the different “houses,” grew frustrated with what I viewed as “white space,” and generally enjoyed dressing my little boy in extremely cute clothes.
The following is a deeply personal, entirely subjective primer, less for people with kids and more for people without kids who like knowing about stuff. These are not recommendations, you can subscribe to Secret Menu for those. Nor is it a call for you to send me your favorite baby brand. Believe me, I have heard of it. Thank you, though!
What this doesn’t include: Designer Fashion labels that sell kids clothes, other than Stella McCartney, because they don’t interest me. Not only because they are too expensive, but because they are boring. The RealReal sells a lot of this stuff, though, for those who disagree. It also doesn’t include Gap, H&M and Zara, which are very popular and contribute quite a lot to that $63 billion. I have bought some stuff from H&M — it’s fine — but I don’t shop at these stores for myself so I haven’t shopped for the baby there. Some of it is cute, a lot of it is not, none of it is for us. They don't need an explainer.
And if you are wondering, no I did not buy any of The Row's newly launched children's line. It's gorgeous with a juicy color story, but I would rather spend that money on myself at The Row sample sale, which I did when we recently visited New York.
Bobo Choses, Mini Rodini, Tiny Cottons, Lucas du Tertre. The fashion brands that make my baby a Fashion Baby. Stella McCartney fits in here, too. (Her kids clothes have a real identity, not mini-me-label-whore stuff.) These are the hot, extremely competitive lines that are bragged about by their retailers when a new collection drops. (When Bobo Choses Fall 2021 arrived in stores, I received four separate emails touting it.) They are colorful, animated, silly: If Bobo Choses is the baby equivalent of Gucci, Mini Rodini is Balenciaga. Tiny Cottons might be the best, but I’m in a one-sided fight with them right now because of a missing order. Like in grown-up fashion, there are seasonal themes, and they all seemed to be obsessing over Moonrise Kingdom, scouting and camping at the moment. Not bad!
Lucas du Tertre stands apart. It’s more conservative, preppy, dandy-ish. Lots of florals.
Most of these lines come out of Spain or France or Scandinavia, and they are expensive but not in a gross way. Mostly everything is under $100, and it often goes on sale. For me, $30 or $40 for a piece of baby clothing feels okay. You can find this stuff marked down to those figures.
Bonpoint. I see this as the Hermès of baby things. Really beautiful pieces but you actually do have to be very rich to buy a lot of it. Or go to the sample sale, etc. Bon Ton is sort of the same but also but a little cheaper.
Smallable. The Net-a-Porter/MatchesFashion of family things. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous; beyond all the right kids labels and nursery items, they sell adult French-bobo fashion and homewares. Love their catalog. A great place to spend money.
Scandiborn. Another multi-brand retailer: good, but not as fun.
Maisonette. The Farfetch of baby things. (As in, it’s a marketplace.)
At Noon Store, Milk Teeth, Little Occasion. The best of the fast fashion, much of which is sourced in Korea.
Betón, Zoen voor Gust, Roux, Liewood. There’s a cohort of brands and stores out there — from Scandinavia/The Netherlands, Australia/New Zealand and Los Angeles/Portland — that are pushing that muted, dusty, minimalist look so popular with adults in those regions as well. I’m not a huge fan of subtle colors for babies but thankfully cobalt blue and mustard yellow are also painfully on trend, which means they pop up at these retailers with great frequency. I’ve found some beautiful things at Beton in particular: wooden rattles, a fun baby bouncer, a cozy wool sleep suit.
Carter’s, Primary and Mori. If you want to talk about basics for babies — and why wouldn’t you? — these are the best. My friend Pamela, who has exquisite taste but is also admirably practical, told me long before I was pregnant that Carter’s was a low-key favorite for kid’s clothes. (She’s convinced they hired some “cool Brooklyn hipster,” back when hipsters were a thing, to help design the line.) I bought my baby’s adorable avocado Halloween costume there and many other cute things, like navy sweatpants. Primary — which is basic basics, like turtlenecks in every color of the rainbow, that sort of thing — is good for pajamas and sweatshirts, although I wish their fabrics were softer. I haven’t bought anything from Mori but was given a couple items when the baby was born, and although it’s not my #aesthetic, it’s incredibly soft, so I tend to put him in these onesies more often because they feel better.
Arket and Monoprix. To be honest, the “white space” I see in the baby clothes racket is indeed in simple items. Why can’t the sweatsuits be soft, and also come in vibrant colors, and also not be extremely expensive? Long before I had a kid, I used to buy my friends’ kids stuff from Arket. the H&M Group’s answer to Uniqlo, and Monoprix, the French grocery/department store. They truly have the best striped shirts, sweatshirts, cool illustrations on onesies — I even bought my boy a corduroy suit from Arket. If you live in the US these are hard to order because neither company ships directly, but if you just google “how to ship Monoprix to the US,” you will figure it out!
Etsy. My friend Britt, a better and more thorough shopper than me, has found many adorable vintage baby outfits on here, including a 1980s shirt, printed with neon hippopotamuses, that my kid wore to an art opening. I wish i had more patience for/was better at Etsy.
Patagucci, The North Face, Nike, New Balance. Very cute in mini sizes.
Target. I don't like the main collection AT ALL but the Christian Robinson collaboration is king.
Makie. Best Japanese loungewear! Every baby needs a hadagi.
What I Wrote:
This? I will aim to send this letter once i’m back up and running and have some bylines to show you, but i’ll also be working on a book, so no guarantees!
I did, however, record a pod with my husband about our time in New York. My big observation, as someone who lived there for 15 years and has been gone for 1.5, is that New York is the sort of place where I can be a mother of a 6-month-old and also maintain a red-orange manicure. (There was a Jin Soon two doors down from the place where we were staying, and it was open past 7pm.) I am back in Los Angeles where it's quieter, my cuticles are drier and the salon closes at 6pm. No more red nail polish. Just shiny buff.
What I Re-Read:
The House of Gucci: A Sensational Story of Murder, Madness, Glamour, and Greed. Wish I was back at work in time to write about this! What a tale! And the movie is an incredible marketing opportunity for Gucci. Fascinating stuff.
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